Emotion is a virus: how we influence each other

           Emotion is a virus: how we influence each other

Emotions spread like a virus, and the mood of others can have a dramatic effect on us. The evolutionary prerequisites and interesting mechanisms of this phenomenon are being studied by Stephen Stony, a family therapist and author of a series of books on relationships.

Each of us intuitively understands the meaning of such expressions as “public mood” or “excitement floating in the air”. But where from? “These are metaphors that have no literal meaning. Nevertheless, we perfectly understand their significance, as we intuitively understand what infection with emotions means, ”says family psychotherapist Stephen Stony.

The principle of infection with emotions implies that the feelings of two or more people are connected and transmitted from person to person in large groups. We are accustomed to consider this an internal process, but emotions can be more contagious than any known virus, and subconsciously transmitted to everyone who is nearby.

In a crowd of strangers, an “emotional infection” makes us feel the same as the rest of the group

Most have the opportunity to observe how the emotional states of family members influence us. For example, it is almost impossible to be happy when others are depressed. However, it is interesting that infection with emotions works even when there is no connection between people. For example, in a crowd of strangers, an “emotional infection” makes us feel the same as the rest of the group.

Experiments show that at the bus stop we are more impatient if others are impatient. But if they put up with the fact that the bus is late, then we will wait quietly. "Electricity in the air" makes us excited at a sporting event or rally,

Emotional background determines consciousness

Like everything that affects the emotional state, such an “infection” largely determines our thinking. Opinion researchers know that they will receive one set of answers to questions posed by focus groups and another when they ask the same questions to each participant privately.

And the point is not that people lie while they are together, or that they change their mind when they are left alone. Due to the influence of emotions, they may have different views on the same subject, depending on what environment they are in at the time of the survey.

The principle of infection also takes into account "group thinking." People tend to obey the majority in the meeting or act collectively, even going against their own opinions. For example, risky or aggressive behavior of teenage groups is manifested in the fact that a general emotional “infection” encourages each child to go beyond their personal prohibitions, and sometimes far beyond them, which leads to dangerous, cruel, or criminal behavior.

Infection with emotions manifests itself in parades of solidarity and protest marches, in the worst cases - in “justice of the crowd”, lynching, unrest and looting. At a less dramatic but no less visible level, this gives us ever-changing fashion, cultural quirks, and standards of political correctness.

Negative emotions are more contagious

“Have you ever wondered why we focus more on what causes negative emotions than on good? - asks Stosny. - I'm not talking about pessimistic and toxic people who are constantly looking for the opportunity to find a drop of tar in a barrel of honey. But everyone gives the negative a disproportionate weight. How much do you personally think of a positive experience versus a negative one? What does your mind spend more time and energy on? ”

Negative emotions get the right priority treatment in the brain, as they are more important for quick survival. They give us an instant adrenaline rush, which is needed, for example, to jump from the snake and repel the attack of the saber-toothed tigers. And we pay for this with the opportunity to once again notice the beauty of the world.

“Negative bias” determines why loss causes much more pain than gain. Eating tasty is pleasant, but in most cases it is incomparable with the annoyance of a missed meal. If you find $ 10,000, the delight will persist for a day or so, and a loss of $ 10,000 can ruin your mood for a month or more.

Positive emotions for a better life.

Ironically, positive emotions are more important for long-term well-being. We have a chance to live longer, healthier and happier if we experience them much more often than negative ones. Life becomes better for those who are able to appreciate the beauty of a hilly meadow and the sun illuminating the leaves of trees ... provided that they can also notice a snake in the grass. We must be able to survive at the right moments in order to continue to appreciate the world around us.

It is also important to understand that any protective and aggressive states, such as resentment, mercilessly spread from person to person. If someone comes to work with resentment, then by lunch everyone around him is already offended. Aggressive drivers make other drivers the same. A hostile teenager spoils a family dinner, and an impatient spouse makes watching TV a tense and unpleasant process.

Conscious choice

If we are next to a resentful, evil, sarcastic, narcissistic, vengeful person, then we will probably feel about the same as him. And in order not to become the same, you need to make an effort and engage the inner Adult.

This is not surprising in principle. Much more important is another: having become infected with these emotions, we are very likely to react negatively to the next person we will meet. “If your well-being and emotional state will depend on other people, you will lose control of yourself and the situation and, therefore, will behave more impulsively. You will become a bacteriologic, and your life experience will be determined by the reaction to the “emotional pollution” of the environment, ”warns Stony.

But, having learned to build healthy emotional boundaries and showing conscious attention to our condition and situation, we can maintain stability and control over life.