Types of Educational Styles: What parent are you?

Types of Educational Styles: What parent are you?

Types of Educational Styles What parent are you

We know that in each family we can meet different educational approaches. These can also be mixed or combined in various ways. Internationally recognized psychiatrist  and educational expert also write about several types of educational styles in their book Parenting with Reason and Love. Perhaps after reading the following lines, you will be able to join one of them and perhaps change your educational effect, because you will discover something that will suit you better.

1. Helicopter parents

Who are helicopter parents? They are the parents of the millennium children who are overdoing it with care. They float over children like helicopters and follow their every step. Helicopter parents take an anxious responsibility for their children's lives, their successes and failures. Often, this care is transmitted until the child's adulthood. This is particularly the case when, even in their early twenties or even thirties, the child is closely controlled by the parents, or the parents are trying to arrange everything in advance and agree that everything goes smoothly. These parents think that love means adapting life to all children. Although these parents may feel that they are making it easier for their children to reach adulthood, it may be that these children will not be able to find their place in adulthood for a long time. They will not be happy with the choice of school, profession or the like. He considers the surroundings of these parents exemplary. But the real world does not work on the rescue principle. The real world is harsh, so the children of these parents are not ready for the real world.

The authors of Parenthood with Reason and Love have also specified another type of helicopter parent, a jet-powered helicopter parent. Such parents not only save their children, but also make it ideal for them to create an ideal and perfect world in which they will not have to face problems, inconvenience, discomfort or disappointment. These children lead a life in which their mistakes are swept under the carpet. These parents often say, “There is a lot of competition in the world and I want my kids to have all the aces up their sleeves. The mistakes they make in their youth should not hinder them in the future. ”These parents are trying to protect their children as assault helicopters fly to every person or organization that they believe is a threat to their child. Their defensive tactic is that they declare their child a victim in trouble. Competitors often surrender under constant fire. In this way, children learn from their parents to blame others for their failure instead of trying to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. These children often have a perfect image, a perfect certificate, but in fact when they start working, the employer finds that they have not only poor knowledge but also a complicated character and bad work habits.

2. Parent commanders

Another type of parents are commanders. They too love their children. They need to feel that they have everything under control. They are convinced that the more they scream into children, control them as much as possible, the better the longer-term results will be. These children gradually get used to listening to what to do, because if they did not, their parents would still force them to do so. These parents often use crashing to communicate. They often use the sentence: "I told you!"

When they sometimes get a chance to think for themselves, they make horrible decisions, of course, to totally frighten and disappoint their parents. However, this is logical. For a long time, these children had no chance of deciding anything. They had been given orders all their lives. Research has also shown that these children in puberty are more quickly subject to peer pressure than other children. So far they have been used to listening to the voice of their parents. In puberty they do the same thing, but listen to the voice of their peers. Even in adulthood, these children have a need to follow someone. They have a problem deciding on their own.

3. Non-interfering parents

For some reason, these parents, because they do not feel confident about how they should treat their child, or because they are confused by the many opinions on parenting, do not interfere in the education of their children and essentially raise their children themselves . Some believe that a child is born with the ability to manage his own life, just give them time and opportunity, and if a parent doesn't get in the way, they will grow into successful people. These parents leave their children at peace. They believe that the well-spent moments will make up for the missing quantity of moments they spend with their children, and that responsibility in the right quality of time will eventually stick to the children. Others do not know what to do in education, so they stopped trying.

The authors of the book point out that this is not really the type of parent, but the avoidance or misunderstanding of parental responsibilities. They also point out that although children should be able to choose from safe options, it is not appropriate for children to make decisions in everything. Love in education with love and reason shows the need to lead a child to become a responsible and capable person.

4. Parent Adviser

This parent can work well all his life. In their development, children go from the period of concrete thinking to the period of abstract thinking, which is typical of adolescence. Children need reasonable guidance and firm boundaries at all times. In determining them, we take into account the child's safety and how his or her behavior affects others. Then we must maintain these limits to help children understand that they are responsible for their actions and that if they act disproportionately they will bear the appropriate consequences. Although parents set and guard borders, they should, as far as possible, give children a choice in certain situations. If they decide to do something, they should encourage them to think about their behavior and know that they are in control of their actions. When children reach the age of adolescence, this type of parenting is even more important. Children in this period refuse guidelines and rebel against borders because they started to think differently than they did at a younger age. Because of this important change in cognition, parents must adapt their educational methods to meet the needs of the new thought processes that are taking place in the child. They will retreat a little from their position as a border collector and allow the appropriate consequences of real life to become educational means. They allow their teenagers to make more decisions and then lead them to successfully swim through the consequences of those decisions.

Since early childhood, these parents have been asking children questions and giving them a choice. They don't always tell them what to do, but they put the burden of decision on their shoulders. They set options within borders. As a result, children learn to make decisions before they arrive in adolescence.

“But there is nothing certain about parenting. Doing this will not guarantee that it will always work. Just because you're doing something right doesn't mean it's always going the way you want it to. One thing is certain, however, if you do not allow your children to fail, you cannot offer them to choose success, ”the authors of the book point out.